A Series of Improbable Events 9: Something Right, Something Wrong
by ErykahMiszti
Summary: This one runs into Something Very Stupid. Donna's side of the story.


"Sometimes it feels like I'm losing him, CJ." Donna said sadly.

CJ and Donna were sitting in the bar of the hotel, dolled up to the nines.

"I thought it would be worst when he was working every hour. I was ready for that. I wasn't expecting it to be bad after it was over." She sighed deeply.

CJ took a drink from her glass of wine and nodded, understanding.

"It's a full on job." CJ agreed. "Just when you've finally worked out how to do it, you have work out how not to."

She and Donna looked at each other sadly.

"But I had something to move on to. A new challenge, if you will." She paused. "Josh didn't do that."

Donna nodded.

"I've let him drift for too long."

"It's not your fault." CJ reassured her, covering her hand with her own. "He's a grown man, Donna. You can't hold his hand every minute of the day."

Donna looked at her with raised eyebrows and CJ smiled ruefully.

"Anymore." She said. "You're going places, mi amore. You have important things you're doing now."

"Yeah, things he's just not that interested in." She sighed.

"Things have gotten that bad?" She sounded surprised.

"No." Donna frowned. "Not exactly."

"You know you're not making sense, right?"

"We're happy. Things are fine really." She insisted perkily after thinking for a moment. "We spent months at home, just the two of us..."

"I don't need too many details on that!" CJ cut in and took another slug of her drink.

"It's been good. Great." Donna said determinedly. "Although we've agreed he won't be making the kids costumes ever again." She shook her head and took a long drink from her wine glass.

"So, Donna, what's wrong?"

"I shouldn't feel like I'm doing this alone." She said, looking at CJ squarely. "We should be doing this together, shouldn't we?"

"Have you spoken to him about this?"

"I've tried. We spoke about him not throwing his weight around and undermining what I'm doing but, I don't know, it's like he thinks that means not coming along with me at all." She looked glum. "He's never been to see me speak, CJ. Not once."

CJ put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"You should just tell him flat out to get his ass over there." She said. "Or let me do it for you."

Donna shook her head.

"Please don't." She said as she turned to meet her eyes. She smiled. "Don't listen to me. I'm just being a bit silly tonight. We should get back to the party…"

"So this is where you beautiful ladies are!" Danny came up to CJ with a huge grin. He planted a big kiss on her lips.

"We were about to send out a search party." Josh said as he walked up to Donna and put an arm around her. They leant towards each other to share a quick kiss.

"I thought we were the search party." Danny laughed.

"I owe you the next dance." Josh enticed Donna to her feet, off her barstool, with a grin. She smiled girlishly back at him and let herself be led by the hand back towards the ballroom. She turned once to look back at CJ and gave her a smile.

Danny stood watching CJ, who was staring after them thoughtfully.

"Everything okay?" He asked.

She turned to him with a beaming smile.

"Yes." She replied. "Let's dance."

xxxxxx

"Josh, how would you feel about me running for Congress?"

She'd been working up to speaking to him all day. She was nervous but she wasn't sure why. This was a good thing. It felt the culmination of everything she'd been working towards, without even really realising that that's what she'd been doing. It just felt so right though. She just needed him on board now and everything would be perfect.

She'd been distracted for a while by him sweeping her off her feet to bed but, now in the aftermath, it seemed a good time for talking. So she bit the bullet and asked him.

She'd expected him to be surprised but instead he was gaping at her, somewhat fishlike.

"What?" He asked.

"You must have heard that Flynn died yesterday." She added and he nodded, sitting up a little.

"Yeah." He said, sounding distracted. Well this wasn't the reaction she'd been hoping for, but she pressed on, trying to spread her enthusiasm to him.

"Some folks, well, they've suggested I run... for Congress!" She laughed and smiled but he was still just staring at her. "Are you okay, Joshua?"

"Yeah." He said again, standing up.

He started getting dressed. Donna watched him in complete confusion. Her heart was racing. She held the sheet tightly against her.

"Just need some... water." He took his glass from the nightstand and left the room.

Donna just sat on the bed, staring at the empty doorway dumbfounded. Why was he reacting like this? That feeling that she was losing him returned again and made bile rise up in her throat.

She hastily wrapped herself in the sheet and followed him.

She found him the bathroom, leaning his head on the glass. He looked so upset that she could barely believe it.

"Josh? Say something. Talk to me."

He closed his eyes, but didn't move. She wanted to scream at him to say something.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" He asked finally turning his head away from her.

Her heart sank into the floor.

"Why wouldn't it be?" She heard herself ask flatly.

"Oh," He dithered the way he did when he was really uncomfortable about saying something. She hadn't seen that in a while. "Well, you've haven't got that much experience..."

She felt as if all the wind had been knocked out of her. Her laugh came out bitter.

"I haven't?" She asked.

"I mean, yeah, you do, in politics, in general, but in the back rooms… not standing out there at the front!"

"Not standing… At the front…" She echoed incredulously.

Donna felt dizzy, disbelieving what she hearing from him.

"Well, yeah, no, but… You know what I mean… I'm saying there's a difference…" Josh continued.

She saw red. He really didn't see it. Every worry she'd had that she was losing him came back at her in a rush but instead of feeling sad, she was angry. He really hadn't been paying attention.

"What do you think I've been doing for the last two years, Josh?"

"Not Congress!" He yelled.

Her lips compressed into a thin line.

"You don't think I can do Congress?" She asked.

"No!" He said, very forcefully. Her heart felt like it was breaking. "Donna, you've been playing in a sandpit… this the big leagues, we're talking about. You can't handle that!"

She glared at him.

"That's what you think of me." She said. "Sandpit?!"

"Donna, you're good at what you do. But it's not this!"

"How would you know?" She threw at him. "You've never come to see me speak."

"We agreed that I would stay out of it!" He shot back.

"That meant for you not to come in and throw your political weight around, Joshua."

She couldn't take it anymore. It was too much. She just couldn't be in the same room as him anymore. She walked out, throwing her words over her shoulder back at him.

"Not for you to never come see me."

He followed her but she ignored him.

"Why didn't you say anything about this before?" He asked. "If you wanted me to come, you could'a just asked me!"

"I shouldn't have needed to." She replied icily without looking at him, grabbing up some clothes instead. "I'm going to sleep… somewhere else!"

There was nothing left to say.

xxxxxx

Donna sat on the bed in the guest room at her friend Patti's house. The kids were asleep in the other room with Patti's kids, so she was alone in here.

She bit back her tears. Walking out on him was the hardest thing she'd ever done but she just couldn't take any more of his insistence that she couldn't do this or that he was only saying that to protect her from disappointment. Not that she could believe that he could believe that. For years he'd been her rock. He'd been the one telling her that she could do anything. He'd encouraged her to start this. The scaffolding holding up her life felt like it had crumbled.

But she'd meant it. With or without him. She wanted to do this. She really wanted to. It made her happy to be working on this and connecting to people. To be trying to make things better for them. To lead from the front, for a change. It felt like everything she'd done had been leading to here.

She pulled out her cell and dialled.

"Hey Donna." Lou's voice came on the other end.

"Lou," She began, despite herself her mouth quirked into a smile. "You know how you owe me that favour…"

xxxxxx

Donna came off stage feeling pumped, her smile splitting her face.

Lou clapped her on the back with a huge grin. Bonnie hugged her. Graham led the small volunteer staff in applauding.

"Yes!" Lou said enthusiastically. "You nailed it. You totally nailed it." She paced about, hyper. She stopped and pointed at Donna. "Donna Lyman, you are going to Congress! Yes!" She started pacing again.

Donna collapsed into a chair, exhausted but laughing. There was no feeling like this. Why did no one tell her how much of a rush it was hold a crowd like that? She probably wouldn't have believed them if they had.

"Up, up, up." Bonnie said, encouraging her back to her feet. "We need you back out there pressing some flesh."

She went willingly. She could do this. She really could. Josh could go fu… no, she wasn't thinking about him.

xxxxxx

"Toby."

He turned at the sound of his name to find Lou standing there. They just looked at each for a long moment.

"What did you think?" She asked finally.

"She's good." Toby acknowledged. "Everything you've got her saying is good. Keep turning it back to local and, I think, you've got a good chance."

"Thanks. That means a lot coming from you." Lou nodded. "CJ said you were coming. Have you been to see Josh yet?"

"Tomorrow." He replied. "I wanted to see Donna first."

"She's gone already. Back to the kids, you know."

Toby nodded, understanding.

"Then I better… you know..." He started to go.

"Where you staying?" She asked suddenly and he stopped.

"The Marriott."

"Me too." She half smiled. "You wanna... buy me dinner?"

"You gonna order the whole menu?" He asked, returning the half smile.

"I'll stick to the entrees." She outright smiled this time.

xxxxxx

Donna smiled and waved at the crowd. The speech had gone even better than she could have hoped. The crowd had responded exactly as they'd wanted. She had been worried that the looking up at the flag might be too cheesy but Lou had reassured that it might from someone else but that if anyone could pull it off, she could. She was so glad that Lou had agreed to help her out.

As she glanced around the room, trying to make eye contact with a few key people as she waved, she saw him. In a split second she saw him, not applauding, just staring at her. She moved her eyes on quickly so as not to make eye contact with him. All her good feeling drained away in an instant but she fixed the smile on her face. She forced herself to stay out there a bit longer, determinedly not looking back in his direction. Finally she left the stage.

Her mind was racing. What was he doing here? What had he thought of it? What had he thought of her? Not just as her husband. He was Josh Lyman, the guy who'd chosen two outside bets and helped them become Presidents. What was he thinking right now? Oh stupid girl, she berated herself. She'd didn't need his praise, but she still wanted it so much.

Lou appeared in front of her grinning. She launched into her praise. Donna cut her off.

"Josh is here." She said flatly.

Lou stopped mid-gush and looked at her concerned instead.

"Are you okay?" She asked seriously.

"What's he doing here?" Donna asked, closing her eyes momentarily, putting a hand to her temple to try and ease her sudden headache.

"Hopefully finally working out what all of us who aren't pigheadedly stupid already know." Lou replied, bitterly.

"How quickly can I get out of here?" Donna asked, meeting her eyes.

"You gonna run from him?" Lou asked, surprised.

"Lou…" She was so tired suddenly.

"Okay." She threw her hands up. "Ten minutes mingling and we head out."

xxxxxx

"He's still just standing out there." Graham mused, sounding surprised.

"Graham…" Lou said, her tone warning him to shut up.

Donna just focused on her beer. They were all sat in the bar. It had been meant to be a celebration of a good night but Donna's bad mood cast a pall over their table. The rest of the volunteers that made up her little team sat at the tables around them, ignoring it and trying to make it look like a celebration anyway.

Donna refused to look out the window. It wasn't that cold a night. He had his coat. She'd been wrapped in that coat enough times to know that he wouldn't be cold out there. He also had his car. If he was cold, he could sit in his car.

Stop it! She told herself firmly. Stop worrying about if he's okay out there. That really wasn't the point.

What the hell was he doing just standing out there? Surely he knew he was freaking her out. Maybe that was the point. Drive her crazy enough that she would go out there.

He'd be waiting forever, because she wouldn't. If he wanted to talk, he'd have to come in here and start it.

She couldn't go out there. She just couldn't. She'd needed him and he'd turned his back on her. All those times when he'd needed her and she'd been there for him, even when he wrong and they both knew it. Even when it stupid to stand behind him, she'd still stood there.

Well, except for those two times…

From the day she'd first read his name in the paper, when she'd wanted to do something to help Jed Bartlet and she'd read the papers to help her prepare, his name had jumped out at her as being important to the rest of her life. Despite not knowing a thing about him, she'd known that helping him was what she was going to do. So she'd walked into that building and found his office and just got on with helping him. That first meeting with him she'd just known that she'd found the right place, even if the sheer connection between them from the get go had completely freaked her out. He'd never talked down to her, never treated her like she was stupid. He'd known that she hadn't finished college, that there was so much she didn't know, and he'd teased her mercilessly but then he'd just explain what she needed to know and expect her to catch up. It was like playing a high stakes game of catch and they'd throw the ball between them, each knowing and instinctively trusting that other wouldn't drop it.

It had been thrilling and yet somehow so scary that, when her idiot ex had called wanting to get back together, she'd run like hell was on her heels to get away from it. She'd run from him and that connection that was so far beyond the relationship she should have with a guy who she'd put into the position of being her boss. She'd walked away from the best thing she'd ever known, the best place she'd ever known, because it'd scared her so much to feel so much.

Sitting in the hospital waiting for the man she realised she didn't care about to come for her, she'd finally seen what a stupid decision she'd made. When he'd turned up smelling of beer, having stopped on the way, she'd known what she needed to do.

Just like that he'd taken her back, and everything had just slotted back into place.

xxxxxx

"Donna, he's been out there over an hour." Bonnie told her. "He's not coming in, but he's also not going away. Maybe you should just…"

"No." Donna said firmly. "I'm not going to him. I haven't done anything wrong."

"No, you absolutely haven't but…"

"Just drop it." She insisted. "Can I get another drink please?"

Surely he must be getting cold by now… why didn't he just come in, or go sit in his car out of the cold? He'd get sick just standing out there… did he have no sense of self-preservation? No, dammit, stop it Donnatella. Just stop.

The second time she'd left him, unlike the first, hadn't been for a stupid reason. They'd reached the end of a road. The pattern of the game had turned from thrilling high speed catch into an unhealthy holding pattern, with neither of them properly reaching out but neither of them being really willing to let go. They'd both changed - their relationship had long before changed - but for a long time neither had been willing throw caution to the wind and take the final risk. Then, after Gaza, after Germany, when she was finally ready to lay the cards on the table, when she needed to, he'd just kept on running away from her. She just finally got sick of chasing. So, kinda like now, she'd gone to do what she needed to do, to try and be a whole person again, to prove that she could live without him.

And then, like now, she could. She could survive without Josh Lyman; she could even thrive. She just didn't really want to.

Donna risked a small glance out the window. He was still standing there; watching, waiting. Oh god! She turned away.

xxxxxx

The second time he hadn't been so happy about taking her back. He'd flat out turned her away. Except for that little admission; of having missed her.

So much water had gone under the bridge since then. Ten years of really good times, a whole other Presidency and then some, and yet here they were again. Forty feet and an ocean apart.

The last time they'd stalked their way around each other for months; the tension so thick between them that you could cut it with a knife. Then, in one moment of joy over numbers of all things, boom! And she'd just known that finally she had him and there was no way she gonna let him go again. It was just a matter of time.

Except the timing was all wrong. The election, and Leo, and actually winning! So she'd deliberately played it cool, but scared him a little. A month was a lie; he just always worked better with a hard deadline. She knew how to play him. He was finally hers, and there was no way she was letting him go.

Donna looked out the window again. Yeah, there was no way she was letting him go.

"Lou..?" She said. "Will you come outside with me?"

Lou looked back at her and smiled.

"Finally!" She said, exasperated.

xxxxxx

"What?" She asked, looking up him puzzled.

She'd decided to just let it go. Just take him back. He was here, and he'd waited for her in the cold, and he was sorry. Then he kissed her, twice, and not cared who was watching.

But then he felt the need to explain.

"You're so gonna hate me." He began, putting up a hand to stop her as she tried to ask a question. He drew a long breath. "I was gonna run." He finally said, softly.

"What?" She demanded flatly. Her mind started racing.

"I was gonna run." He repeated. "Here. I had a conversation with Will…"

In an instant she saw it. Just like that, it all made perfect sense. Him slipping away from her and then turning on her… He'd put his own ambition above all thought of her.

"You son of a bitch." She said softly, angrily.

"Donna…" He began in that desperate, pleading tone that so often worked on her. Not this time. She hardened her heart.

She walked over to him and slapped him, hard.

"That's for letting me kiss you before you told me that!" She turned away in disgust. "Godammit Josh!"

He tried to reach out to her but she shrugged him off.

"Donna please let me explain..."

"Go… to hell." She bit back.

Then Lou had come out of the bar and ushered them into an alley. Her mind frozen, her feet had just done what they were told. It was as if Lou was speaking from a long way away. She couldn't really hear her over the blood pounding, until she said "If this is nuclear, like divorce-worthy," and it had woken Donna back up.

"Is this..? What she said."

He asked sounding pained, sounding just like she felt at the thought, and she told him the truth.

"I don't know." She was amazed by how tired she sounded.

"Will you let me explain?" He asked, more softly this time but no less desperate and it broke something in her. She rounded on him.

"What's to explain?"

She straightened her spine and walked over to him. She was angrier at him than she ever been. She wanted to hurt him. To really hurt him. So she broke it down.

"Seems plain enough to me. You were going to run. Let me guess, step one to a Presidential run on a Josh Lyman Nine Point Plan." She snorted. "Except I jumped into the conversation first. Rather than discuss it with me, instead of us making a plan together, you saw me as a threat to your fantasyland where you're the only one who can save this country from itself. So you quickly convinced yourself that you didn't think I was good enough to actually win. But you couldn't let yourself say that me running would be a waste of an election, when it should be you up there, so you kept telling yourself - and me – that it was that you didn't want me to feel bad when I, inevitably, lost."

She looked him up square in the eye. Daring him to look away.

"Have I missed anything?"

He stared wide eyed at her. She could see sheer terror in his eyes.

"No… no..." He managed to splutter out. "That's pretty much it."

"And now you've changed your mind?" She broke eye contact and rolled her eyes. "You don't want to run anymore?" She mocked.

"Yes!" He exclaimed earnestly. "Donna, it was exactly what you said. I let myself get wrapped in an idea without talking to you and then took it out on you when it went south in front of me." He crossed to her and lightly gripped her shoulders to get her to face him. "I'm sorry. I was wrong." He said sincerely. "About everything. I was wrong."

Oh those words. Why did he have to say that? Why did he have to crumble like that? Why didn't he fight back? She could have kept being angry at him if he'd just fought back.

But no, he'd crumbled. The anger died as quickly as it had come in the face of his sincerity. She tried to grab hold of the fast fading threads.

"You can't do this Josh." She complained. "They're nice words and I know how hard it is for you to say them, but you can't do this to me and then just expect that I'll smile and trust you again."

"I don't." He cut in. "Let me prove it to you instead."

He was sounding so sincere. What could he possibly do, or say, that was more than he'd already just said? What on Earth was more than a complete and total surrender?

"How?" She asked sceptically.

He let go of her shoulders, walked a small distance away, bounced on his toes a little and turned back. He smiled.

Her heart flipped in her chest. Oh, no fair Joshua! Not that expression. Not that naughty look that said his thinking had gone to some place that would rock her world. She knew that expression.

"You really were amazing up there tonight." He said with every bit of sincerity in him. "You had them eating out of your hand."

She tried not to preen. Damn him, she was gonna play this cool if it killed her.

"Really? You think so? You're not just saying that to get back on my good side?"

He walked, maintaining eye contact, towards her shaking his head, and shivers went up and down her spine.

"Although, if you want notes..?" He offered, his tone dropping too seductively low for a conversation about a speech.

"From you, always." Did her tone sound a bit raspy too?

"I hope your stump speech focuses more on local issues. It was a bit, generic…"

It sounded like criticism but the tone of his voice betrayed him. Still it gave her an opening and some weight shifted inside. She smiled.

"I was rallying my base. Ives has jumped on the Tea Party bus and he's been attacking my government connections pretty hard. So I've been owning them. I won't apologise for having worked at the White House. My people need a positive narrative of government so they can fight back without going negative. The bitterness between the parties is toxic. It's turning undecided voters off of all of us." She shrugged. "I've been trying to give them some words. You know, make them proud they're fighting for something, not just fighting against things all the time."

And he smiling back at her, like she'd said exactly what he wanted to hear.

"Anything else?" She asked, still smiling too. Oh wow, did that come too sexy? Too inviting?

"Yeah," He paused. "You might wanna stick a pin or something in your top there." He gestured on himself to a spot in the middle of his chest. She looked down, frowned at her cleavage and looked back up. "While you're proudly declaring that you're not a communist, half the room isn't listening because they can see straight down there…"

"Josh!" She exclaimed as she got what he meant. She fought the urge to play with the front of her blouse and check for herself.

"Just saying, that bit's sexy enough already, you don't to be have to be flashing the room while you do it."

Definitely shivers now, and not just up her spine.

"Sexy?" She asked, a little coyly.

"You know it." He grinned. Oh damn.

"You sure this isn't just a you finding it sexy thing?" She asked. Why was she flirting? Wasn't she supposed to be angry at him? This was spinning out of control.

"You think I find things sexy that others don't?!" He'd tilted his head and she was losing the plot.

"I'm saying you have a politics fetish, Josh." Play it cool Donna, play it cool.

"I do not!" He exclaimed.

That was better. She felt in control again. Use it against him. Torture him just a little. Just because she couldn't seem to find her anger at him, didn't mean she couldn't work with what she had.

She walked over towards him, but instead of stopping in front of him she moved to his right and walked around behind him. Without touching him, trying to ignore how close he was, she leant forward to whisper in his ear. He froze, and she knew she had his full attention.

"Battleground states." She said breathily.

Then she walked, slowly, still deliberately not touching him, around to his left side. She leant in, not touching him but feeling him all the same, and whispered again.

"Exit polls." She breathed. "Unpledged elector." Another breath. "Presumptive nominee."

He grabbed her arm and turned to lock eyes with her.

Oops.

She stared into his eyes, seeing the naked desire flare there, feeling the same rush herself at how close he suddenly seemed.

"It's not a politics fetish." He told her, his voice a little ragged. "It's a Donnatella-saying-words fetish."

He was going to kiss her.

She couldn't let him. That was still a step too far.

She pulled away and turned away to pull herself back together.

Play it cool Donna, play it cool.

She turned back. He was watching her, looking a little concerned.

"So you're saying I should tone down the sexiness?"

His mouth quirked just a little.

"On stage." She added quickly. Why did she say that? Dammit.

"I'd be happier if you could. Of course this isn't your new political adviser talking now, this is your husband, and, given his boneheaded lack of judgement lately maybe we shouldn't listen to THAT guy for a while…"

Her husband being a bit jealous. She wanted to smile but he hadn't just said husband.

"Josh," She said cautioned him. "You can't just come in here and take over the show."

"Okay." He agreed, a little too quickly for her liking. "But, you mind if I run my new plan past you?"

Uh oh.

"What plan?" She asked, her wariness apparent in her tone.

He pointed squarely at her with both hands.

"Me?" She frowned. "I'm the plan?!"

He nodded slowly, and smiled that maddening, teasing smile.

"Donna, you really were good, are good, and the last time I heard someone that good… I quit a pretty good job at the White House to spend months - many months(!) - living in hotels." He winced. "Sometimes in my car."

What? No. The voice in her head said. He's not saying… he's NOT saying…

"And we know how that story ended." He finished.

Oh god.

"You're not serious!" She exclaimed incredulously. "You can't possibly be serious!"

She had another thought… because she really didn't want to think about the other one anymore.

"Are you saying this just to get me to take you back..? 'Cause…"

But he just looked at her, totally serious, and said.

"Donna, it's ME talking here. You think I'd say any of this is if I was anything BUT serious?!"

No, her mind agreed. He's serious. He's totally fucking serious. He – it felt like something snapped her in her head – he thought she could be President. She wanted to laugh but instead she said.

"You're crazy! You've gone insane Josh!" She turned away and flailed. She started walking out of the alley. "You've lost your mind! We have get to you help Joshua… Because this is, just…"

"You haven't said no yet." She heard him say from behind her.

It pulled her up short. She spun to face him.

"You are…"

Um… um… um… um… um…

"Noodle doodle!"

"I'm what?!" He just grinned.

"Ugh." She said and turned away to start pacing.

"I can't believe this is happening! I don't see you in weeks and then you come here and… Uh…"

Her mind was properly racing now. A million images were flashing through her head. Voices from the past; fragments of conversations. A recent one hit her.

She stopped and faced him.

"Oh my god. When I came out here you said…" He nodded. "I thought you were being silly…" He shook his head. "You were serious."

Her mind, so full just a moment ago, went blank as she looked into his eyes.

"Donatella Lyman, have you… ever… thought… about running for President?" He asked.

Oh god.

She started pacing again.

Had she?

xxxxxx

And she was back, by the dying fire, with her head on the armrest of Jed Bartlet's chair.

"You can be whatever you want." He'd said, so confidently; so comfortingly.

There was a sound of breaking glass.

And she was in Josh's apartment, facing him on the couch.

"You think I'm the best?"

"Yeah."

And they were dancing, through party after party.

And David and Susan, just toddlers, were running down a corridor in the West Wing. She was calling for them to slow down, while Josh was encouraging them to speed up.

"I took her back, and I kept her with me, because she was the best and she deserved to be there, in the White House, with us."

And they were dancing.

"have you… ever… thought…"

And they were standing in a photographer's studio, laughing, not taking it very seriously until the moment they had to stand, back to back, and the flash guns went off.

"Fake it till you make it, kid."

And David and Susan were running down a corridor in the West Wing.

"You're going places, mi amore."

And they were dancing.

"You can be whatever you want."

"Yeah."

And she was watching Santos' second inauguration, with his hand holding so tightly onto hers, listening to the oath.

"Donna Lyman, you are going to Congress!"

"Josh, how would you feel about me running for Congress?"

She'd joined the Bartlet campaign to do something with her life. To find her confidence. Because, why not find it there?

And she was at Jed Bartlet's grave, crying, not for a President, but for a surprising friend that she wished she'd been so close to for longer.

What would he say?

"You can be whatever you want."

xxxxxx

"You still haven't said no." Josh said, snapping her out of it.

She stopped and faced him.

"That's because it's… It's…"

"Noodle doodle..?" He replied, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Not with the mocking! She threw her hands up in frustration and walked away. Not with the mocking. Not after asking her… this.

"You're thinking about it!" He called, sing-song, after her. "Aren't you?"

He was following her and she was walking away. As if that would work.

She stopped walking abruptly and he caught up with her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"You're thinking about it." He whispered into her ear, tempting like the devil himself.

She sighed deeply. Another memory hit her. This one came with the look on Leo's face.

"I'm the girl who put her hand up to ask a question… in the Oval Office!"

She felt so tired. This wasn't happening.

But Josh turned her around in his arms and looked down at her so tenderly.

"And, as adorable as that visual still is, that was a very long time ago. You're not a girl Donna. You're a smart, compassionate, extremely capable woman."

He paused, still smiling.

"And I think you can do this."

Oh.

"You don't have to be ready right this moment. You don't even have to be ready this month, or this year." He smiled wryly. "We do have to get you elected HERE first, but after that we have plenty of time. We can work on making you ready, together."

She opened her mouth to say "I'm not ready." but he put a finger on her lips, stopping her before she could.

"I don't want you to think I'm pressuring you into this. I don't want to actually pressure you into this."

Really, you are, you know, but, keep going anyway. Don't stop talking.

"If you don't want to do it - not don't think you can do it - if you don't even want to try… Then, say no to me now. Just one word, and I'll never mention it again. I won't think any less of you. We'll get you elected here and that'll be it. You'll be amazing in Congress."

She stared at him. What else could she do? What else could she say?

No wasn't coming to mind, but yes wasn't quite either.

To her surprise, he let go of her.

"But you've come this far… could you, want to go all the way..? Right to the top?" He asked in total seriousness. "Cause if you do, then…."

Their eyes met and held for a long moment.

Did she?

"With or without you Josh." Her mind threw her own words at her, and the feelings that came with them.

Oh god.

She exhaled deeply and turned away, putting her hand to her mouth.

"Donna...?" He called to her softly.

"Yes." She whispered.

"Yes what?" He asked from behind her, sounding so hopeful. She let the hand dropped from her mouth.

"Yes." She replied, turning back.

"You want it?" He asked again. He sounded disbelieving now, even though he'd the one pushing.

"Yes." She smiled. She felt breathless. Every time she said it, it got easier to say.

"Say it." He challenged as if he knew. He moved closer.

"I want it." She replied, meaning it absolutely and without a doubt.

"Say it." He coaxed one more time, his tone dropping to a rasp. He was an inch from her now.

She looked up at him. Yes.

"I want to be President."

Suddenly it sounded ridiculous again; to give voice to those words. She couldn't help but laugh at herself.

"Oh my god, Josh!" She couldn't not laugh. Wow. Being on stage was nothing compared to this rush.

She paused and took a breath to calm herself. Wow. Why had this ever been hard to fathom? Of course she did. Maybe a little bit of her had ever since she'd seen Jed Bartlet speak; a world and a lifetime ago. Was this why she'd really taken that first step and joined the campaign? An impossible dream, held so deep, somewhere inside, that she never needed to address it. She'd been happy helping others to do it. Quietly changing the world, a bit at a time because it was all she could do. Wow.

"I want to be President someday."

She said it simply.

This time he didn't grin, he simply kissed her.

xxxxxx

Donna watched Josh take off and run into the bar.

She stood there in the parking lot and noticed for the first time that it was surprisingly cold out there. She bristled. He must have been cold standing out here. Seriously, no sense of self-preservation!

"A pen?" She heard him yell from inside the bar. "Does anyone have a pen?"

She smiled. Well, at least the cold didn't seem to have affected his lungs just yet.

She watched him turn to the room. She couldn't hear him now but Lou was looking thunderstruck, then he was heading back out to her.

That Cheshire cat, shit eating grin again. He held up a white paper napkin.

DONNA Lyman For America.

She laughed.

"You're laughing." He seemed disappointed, almost pouting.

"I'm a happy person." She replied seriously.

The laugh sounded like it broke from him as he couldn't keep a straight face.

There were several feet between. It seemed a long way and they both suddenly felt awkward.

"Where are the kids tonight?" He asked.

"Patti's." She replied.

He nodded, and then looked at the floor for a long moment, before looking back up at her.

"Will you come home with me?" He asked simply. He looked worried that she might not.

She crossed the distance between them and pulled him into her arms.

"Yes." She said simply, and kissed him.

He tucked the napkin into her coat pocket, and kissed her back.


End file.
